Look around you…

Men in their 20s and 30s are more successful than ever. Better educated. Higher earning. More options.

But softer. Weaker. More uncertain.

And it's not by accident.

Because society has spent the last 20 years training men to be passive. Agreeable. Non-threatening.

"Toxic masculinity" became the label for anything that resembled strength, conviction, or leadership.

Aggression? Bad. Ambition? Problematic. Competitiveness? Toxic.

So men learned to suppress it. To apologize for taking up space. To ask permission before acting.

And now? We have a generation of high-functioning men who can't make decisions without consensus. Who turns statements into questions. Who've lost the ability to lead because they've been trained to believe that leading is oppressive.

The result? Men who are successful but hollow.

Good jobs. Fit bodies. Relationships that look fine from the outside.

But no fire. No edge. No masculine presence.

They've optimized for comfort and approval. And lost themselves in the process.

This isn't happening in a vacuum. This is cultural conditioning.

The message is everywhere…Be softer. Be more emotional. Be less assertive. Defer. Accommodate. Don't make waves.

And men are listening. Because they want to be "good." They want to do the right thing.

But what they don't realize is that in trying to be everything society tells them to be, they've stopped being men.

And here’s what's been lost…

Conviction. The ability to make a decision and stand in it without needing everyone to validate it first.

Presence. The masculine energy that makes people pay attention when you walk into a room.

Direction. Knowing what you want and going after it with singular focus instead of drifting through life reacting to whatever comes next.

Standards. Holding yourself to a code that doesn't bend when things get uncomfortable.

These aren't toxic. These are foundational.

And without them? You're just a high-functioning zombie. Going through the motions. Checking boxes. Existing but not living.

Your girlfriend feels it but doesn't say it. Your colleagues see it. Your younger self would be disappointed.

But here's the truth they don't want you to know…

You can get it back.

Not by rejecting everything. Not by becoming some caricature of "alpha male" nonsense.

By remembering what masculine energy actually is: Certainty in uncertainty. Leadership without domination. Strength with purpose.

It's not about being aggressive. It's about being decisive.

It's not about being unfeeling. It's about being grounded.

It's not about controlling others. It's about leading yourself first.

This is what restoring masculinity looks like…

You stop seeking consensus for every decision. You make the call and stand in it.

You stop apologizing for taking up space. You own your presence.

You stop asking "Is this okay?" and start declaring "This is what we're doing."

You stop letting comfort dictate your choices. You choose growth even when it's uncomfortable.

You rebuild the standards you've let slip. And you hold yourself to them without negotiation.

This isn't about becoming someone new. It's about excavating who you were before society trained you to be passive.

That guy who was sharp, certain, and dangerous? He's still in there. Just buried under layers of social conditioning that taught you to be small.

Where do you need to start?

First, reclaim your decision-making.

Stop turning statements into questions. Stop seeking approval before acting. Make decisions quickly and own them.

Rebuild your standards.

Identify one area where you've gone soft. Your morning routine. Your training. Your word to yourself. Set a non-negotiable standard and hold it.

Lead your life.

Stop drifting. Stop reacting. Decide what you're building toward and move in that direction with intention.

Stop apologizing for your masculine energy.

You're not toxic for wanting to lead. You're not problematic for being competitive. You're not oppressive for having conviction.

You're a man. And the world needs men who actually lead, not men who've been trained to follow.

Masculinity isn't dying because it's outdated. It's dying because it's been suppressed.

But you can restore it. Starting today.

Stay sharp,

Okello Luri

P.S. The version of you that society wants is passive, agreeable, and easy to manage. The version of you that you're capable of being is sharp, certain, and unstoppable. Choose accordingly.