Look…
You're doing everything right.
You're respectful. You text back quickly. You're available whenever she wants to hang out. You agree with her opinions. You're thoughtful. Kind. Accommodating.
And yet... she's losing interest.
Or worse, she says you're "such a good guy," but she doesn't feel that spark.
You wonder what you're doing wrong.
Here's the truth… You're too comfortable. And comfort kills attraction.
And attraction isn't built on agreeableness. It's built on polarity and tension.
When you're always available, always agreeable, always accommodating, you eliminate tension. And without tension, there's no electricity. No chase. No attraction.
Think about it…
When you text back instantly every time, where's the anticipation?
When you're always free whenever she wants to hang out, where's the challenge?
When you agree with everything she says, where's the edge?
You've become predictable. Safe. Comfortable.
And women don't feel attraction for comfortable. They feel security. Which is important, but only after attraction exists.
You're trying to build a relationship by removing all friction. But friction is what creates the spark.
This is called positive tension, and it's the foundation of sexual polarity.
So let me pull the curtains and reveal…
The Push-Pull Dynamic
Attraction thrives on contrast. You need moments of connection AND moments of space. Warmth AND challenge. Availability AND mystery.
Not playing games. Not being an asshole. Just creating natural tension that keeps things electric.
And here’s how it works…
1. Space creates value
Stop being instantly available. Not to manipulate. But because you actually have a life that matters beyond her.
She texts. You respond when you're done with what you're doing. Not 3 days later. But not instantly either.
She wants to hang out Tuesday. You're busy Tuesday. Offer Thursday instead.
You have plans with your boys. You keep them. She can join or not.
This isn't about making her chase. It's about having boundaries and a life she wants to be part of.
2. Challenge creates investment
Stop agreeing with everything. Have your own opinions. Playfully disagree.
She says something you don't agree with? "I don't know, I think that's kind of bullshit. Here's why..."
She suggests a restaurant? "Nah, I know a better spot. Trust me."
She teases you? Tease back. Don't laugh it off. Match her energy.
This isn't about being contrarian. It's about being real instead of accommodating.
3. Emotional range creates polarity
Stop being one-dimensional. Nice all the time is boring. Show range.
Affectionate one moment, focused on your mission the next.
Playful and teasing, then suddenly intense and present.
Warm and connected, then pulled back into your own world.
Women are attracted to depth, not flatness. Emotional range creates that depth.
The reason why this works is that…
Tension creates anticipation. And anticipation creates desire.
Challenge creates investment. People value what they have to work for.
Contrast creates polarity. And polarity creates sexual attraction.
You don't need to be mean. You don't need to play games. You just need to stop making everything so easy and predictable.
For example…
One guy I worked with was the "perfect boyfriend." Always available. Always agreeable. Never challenged her. His girlfriend started pulling away.
I asked: "When's the last time you said no to her?"
Long pause. "I... don't think I ever have."
"That's the problem. You've become a 'yes man.' There's no tension. No challenge. No polarity."
He started implementing push-pull. Kept plans with his boys even when she wanted him to cancel. Playfully disagreed when she said something he didn't buy. Took space when he needed it instead of being glued to his phone.
2 weeks later: "She told me last night that she's more attracted to me than she's been in months. She said 'I don't know what changed, but I like it."
What changed? He stopped removing all friction and started creating healthy tension.
And the thing is…
She starts initiating. Because you're not always the one reaching out.
Conversations have spark. Because you're not just agreeing with everything.
She invests more. Because she's not sure she has you completely locked down.
The attraction stays alive. Because there's always something to chase.
This isn't manipulation. It's natural masculine-feminine polarity. And it's what makes relationships electric instead of stale.
So I want you to do something…
This week, practice creating space and challenge.
Pick one:
Don't text back instantly. Respond when you're done with what you're doing.
Keep plans you made with yourself or your friends, even if she wants your time.
Playfully disagree with something she says instead of automatically agreeing.
Notice what happens. She'll likely lean in more. Reach out more. Show more interest.
Not because you're playing games. Because you're creating the tension that attraction needs to exist.
Be the challenge, not the comfort.
Keep rising,
Okello Luri
P.S. Nice guys don't finish last because they're nice. They finish last because they eliminate all tension and become predictable. Be kind. But be challenging. That's the combination that creates lasting attraction.